Okay. Just kidding. Not the school opening part but the 'gleefully' and 'eager' part. Oh, some of the students will be happy to return or begin their school career, ending the tedious boredom of the long summer holiday, but that euphoria probably won't last long. Maybe up until that first book report is due, or math test has to be taken.
Mr. T is droning away in the classroom when he notices Ronnie sleeping in the back row. The teacher shouts to Ronnie's neighbor, Reginald, "Hey, wake him up!" Reginald yells back, "You put him to sleep, you wake him up!"
So, not wanting your neighbor to have to jab you awake before getting this far in the post, I took a mental detour to some of my favorite humorous quotes regarding the subject of learning.
The first is on a metal plaque in my bookshop. Can't tell you how many times customers have chuckled while reading this and how many offers there've been to buy it. Unlike the owner of the antique shop next to my shop, I don't concur with her belief that everything is for sale, even the displays. No
amount of money will sway me to sell this sign!
"There's no end to the things you might know,
depending how far beyond zebra you go."
And Mark Twain's advice to "Never let formal education get in the way of your learning," is good, don't you think? If we utilize only what we learn in a classroom or home school situation and nothing beyond, we're really limiting ourselves to so many opportunities to learn.
"The trouble with being educated is that it takes a long time; it uses up the better part of your life and when you are finished, what you know is that you would have benefited more by going into banking."
This is a quote from Philip K. Dick, an American novelist, short story writer, essayist and philosopher whose published works mainly belong to the science fiction genre. In his 54 years of life he wrote 44 novels, 121 short stories and 14 short story collections. Nine films have been adapted from his books, with "Blade Runner" considered a masterpiece. "Total Recall" was a big hit too.
Mr. Philip K(indred) Dick
Ha! We have Ireland's, Oscar Wilde (Oscar Fingal
O'Flahertie Wills Wilde, 1854-1900) to thank for this caustic quote. No offense to all our friends Across the Pond!
Statue of Oscar Wilde in Merrion Square, Dublin, Ireland
See what I mean?? AD 597!! Here in the United States, in AD 1647, onethousandfifty years later, the Court of the Massachusetts Bay Colony decreed that every town with at least fifty families should have an elementary school and that every town with 100 families should have a Latin school. It wasn't until AD 1820 that the first public high school, Boston English, opened in the United States.
The King's School
So the teacher says:
"Nathaniel, I’ve had to send you to the principal every day this week! What do you have to say for yourself?"
"I’m glad it’s Friday!"
Joe: Because I don’t have a dog.
A couple more quotes and then you'll be free to learn from other sources today....
"Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them. There's many a best-seller that could have been prevented by a good teacher."
This from Flannery O'Connor (Mary Flannery O'Connor), an American writer and essayist who wrote two novels and 32 short stories, as well as a number of commentaries and reviews. It's a pity she wasn't alive in Oscar Wilde's lifetime. Imagine the raucous, satiric conversations they could have had!
One more, and my favorite of these I've shared with you today: